2023 Review

The mission of the Solidarity Apothecary is to materially support revolutionary struggles and communities with plant medicines to strengthen collective autonomy, self-defence and resilience to climate change, capitalism and state violence. Each year, I review the work towards this goal.

Content warning – mentions of suicide, prison, border violence, invasion, war, occupation, pregnancy

2023 has been a mix of incredible life changing events coupled with months of hellish nausea and vomiting in my pregnancy that took me to despair and back! This year, I got together with the love of my life, fell pregnant and adopted the most gorgeous rescued dog. For the first time, I also finally started to seriously address my workaholism by attending with Workaholics Anonymous. I’ve moved from compulsive overactivity to much more balance and rest, with an outpouring of love and cuddles from my two soon to be three boys! I feel like somebody loves me not just for being an ‘organiser’ or comrade but for who I am without all the BS layers. I’ve always recognised relationships as revolutionary, and this year has been incredibly life-changing in that respect. Aside from the rockabilly love nest, what went down in 2023 for the Solidarity Apothecary?

1. Creating and launching the Herbalism, PTSD & Traumatic Stress Course

This March, I finally launched the Herbalism, PTSD and Traumatic Stress Course. This was a huge deal for me! It felt like birthing the culmination of my life’s work and experiences, thousands of hours of self-education about trauma and herbalism and brought together everything I’ve learned from all the people I’ve met and/or supported through state violence and trauma. It was hard graft creating it but it felt amazing when it was finally finished (alas I’m sure it will always be a work in progress).

The course was a huge financial experiment with my anticapitalist approach of no one turned away for lack of funds. It was a big leap of faith and more than 75% of enrolees joined using the sliding scale place of either free or a small donation. But enough people paid to make it worthwhile and to sustain my livelihood and the apothecary’s costs until a second launch this October. I’m so grateful to everyone who trusted me and enrolled and all the community support in promoting it. Some of the testimonials have just blown me away. It’s hard as a femme whose survived abuse from people with power, whether that’s men in my childhood or prison officers as an adult, to feel the confidence to create something and share it. There’s so much fear around what people will think, will it be good enough, am I qualified to do this etc… that I had to dig deep! But I’m sooooooo grateful I took the risk because the impact has exceeded my expectations. You can see some of the amazing testimonials on the course page at https://solidarityapothecary.org/herbalismandptsdcourse/

I will be launching it again in Autumn 2024! Please join the waiting list to hear when it’s opening for enrolment!

2. Mobile Herbal Clinic Calais – Herbal Solidarity against the Border Regime

In 2023, I made four trips to Calais with the Mobile Herbal Clinic following on from six last year and ending in May. I would have done more but excitedly found out I was pregnant in August (see below). The Mobile Herbal Clinic is a dedicated mobile clinic serving refugees in Calais and Dunkirk in Northern France. The trips never seemed to reduce in intensity. It was always masses amounts of work as the Field coordinator making everything happen and coordinating relentless logistics! On one of the trips, we responded to our project’s first gunshot wound, something I’m unlikely to forget. The conditions there continue to worsen with unrelenting evictions, awful living conditions, police violence and constant racism.

Since not being able to physically go out, I’ve done my best to keep supporting the project the best I can. This involved two info events, one online and another in Swansea, South Wales about ‘Health Solidarity on the border’ organised by No Borders Swansea. We also published our Wishlist and put a call out for translators, that you can see here. We also ran two massive merchandise launches in order to financially keep the clinic going with our ‘Plants Know No Borders’ and ‘Solidarity Knows No Borders’ t-shirts, hoodies, aprons and tea towels. Thanks so much again to everyone who ordered one!!!

To support the project we have an ongoing crowdfunder here: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/mobile-herbal-clinic-calais

3. The Frontline Herbalism Podcast

The Frontline Herbalism Podcast is now at 52 episodes!!!! It’s felt brilliant to ‘get into the swing of it’ and keep it going. I finished the series recording the Prisoner’s Herbal book and it was great to finally start doing some interviews, as this was always my goal with the podcast.

The show been able to amplify people and projects organising around the world, with series three focused on the politics of trauma. There have been episodes on trauma and solidarity while fighting dictatorship with Anarchist Black Cross Belarus, disability justice, chronic illness, trauma and class, healthcare in Palestine, age trauma and youth oppression, and trauma and addiction with my partner Rob, plus more to come!

I also published a series in collaboration with the Medical Self-Defense Network, interviewing medics from around the world including a medic working in Rojava in North East Syria, an action medic in France responding to riots and police weaponry, frontline medic work in Ukraine, a paramedic on responding to gun shot wounds, as well all about harm reduction work and manufacturing for medical self-defense with a comrade in Poland. Plus an interview with my bestie Victor from the Mobile Herbal Clinic Calais! We also interviewed an MSDN organiser about the network and about the principles of medical self defense.

In terms of herbal content, I talked about herbal support for panic attacks, different kinds of nervines, plus the remaining Prisoner’s Herbal chapters including connecting with plant allies and herbal wound care. Plus several other announcement episodes!

I can’t wait to get stuck in to the podcast in 2024 and continue the series on the politics of trauma, as well as beginning to focus on more grassroots herbal projects. Get in touch if you’d be keen to be interviewed!

Find all the episodes here: https://solidarityapothecary.org/podcast/

I was also very happy to be invited to speak on the Herb Rally podcast for their ‘herbalist hour’, as well as the Rebel Justice podcast and The Public Love Project podcast.

4. Distributing the Prisoner’s Herbal worldwide

The Prisoner’s Herbal is still being distributed around the world, with a continuous steady flow of requests for the book from prisoners and prisoner families around the world. I’m very excited that the book has been translated into Italian (see below about the tour) and that French and German versions are still in progress, as well as a recent offering to translate it into Romanian! The Overcoming Burnout book is also nearly finished in Spanish, translated by comrades in Barcelona, wahoo!

My compañera Heather has done an amazing job of distributing the ‘Spanish’ version La Herbolaria de lxs presxs across Mexico and Abya Yala, the name in Guna for the so-called Americas, used by millions of Indigenous peoples across these continents. There’s been so many events I haven’t been able to keep up with them! See some of the amazing flyers below.

5. Italy Tour

I was so honoured to be invited to Italy by comrades there who translated the Prisoner’s Herbal book into Italian!!! It means the world to me to have their support and to connect with people who recognise that herbalism can be an act of political resistance. My partner and I spent a week on a whirlwind tour of Italy and the hospitality was amazing. You can hear a rundown of the tour on the podcast here.

The first stop was Erbacce Fest – an amazing DIY herbalism festival in Vado, Bologna. I hosted a glycerite making workshop in the afternoon and then in the evening the Anarcho Herbane Kollektiv and I spoke about the Prisoner’s herbal and the many connections between anti-prison struggles and the land. The surrounding area was stunning and it was amazing to get a plant walk in too!

The next day we headed to Rome for a talk at OPSI, a queer, feminist & transfeminist squat in the city. The next stop was Villa Occupata in Milan. On Thursday we headed to the beautiful Susa Valley that has been a hotbed of struggle against the TAV (Treno ad Alta Velocità i.e. HSR, High-Speed Rail for decades. It is also a ‘border hotspot’ with active solidarity for refugees and people on the move. We had a lovely evening talk in a social centre and the next day I gave a more informal workshop with people about our work with the clinic in Calais for folks keen to start something similar in the area.

Our last stop was Turin with a focus on the Prisoner’s Herbal and broader anti-prison struggle. I was so appreciative of everyone’s time, energy, love and care who hosted us or attended an event!!!! It felt very strengthening to be somewhere with a love of plant medicine, preserved traditions and openness about herbalism as well as fierce prisoner support movements.

6. Practical Medicine Making Course

After Italy, I taught a three-day course in practical medicine making. I haven’t hosted any public events in a long time due to the pandemic. I used to teach masses of courses back in my Feed Avalon days (a local workers cooperative focused on community food production) but I burnt out from event organising and teaching. So it felt amazing to exercise this muscle again and host an incredible group of people for three days!

The goal of the course was to teach people how to harvest herbs and make potent medicine for themselves and their communities safely, effectively and sustainably. People got stuck in and learned how to make tinctures, glycerites, infused oils, ointments, vinegars, cough syrups and lozenges. 

I’ll be teaching the course again next October. Please join my newsletter to make sure you hear when enrolment is open! There are 12 paying places and 4 non-paying/donation-based places for people experiencing economic oppression. Learn more about it here: https://solidarityapothecary.org/medicinemakingcourse/

7. The Solidarity Apothecary Clinic and 1:1 Herbal Support

After six months of bouncing back and forth to Poland last year with Ukraine Herbal Solidarity, then losing my best friend Taylor in prison last July, I finally re-opened my 1:1 clinic. It felt amazing to support people again in a more involved and intimate way. I also launched a dedicated website for the clinic: https://clinic.solidarityapothecary.org/

Unfortunately, this autumn I had to wrap it up again due to my pregnancy (see below)! But I’ve really loved connecting with people and getting medicines out to folks.

8. Connecting herbalism, state repression, incarceration, and abolition!

In May, I was honoured to be invited by anarchist author and organiser Cindy Milstein to give a talk about state repression, trauma and the body (and of course, herbalism!). This was organised for people experiencing state repression as part of the struggle against cop city in Atlanta. The webinar introduced the traumatic dynamics of state repression and the important role of solidarity and care in mitigating the violence of the state. It explored how trauma can affect the body, and common ways we express distress from nightmares to panic attacks. It also looked at what we can do to reduce the risks of PTSD and build collective strength when resisting repression. You can find the replay here: https://solidarityapothecary.org/product/state-repression-webinar/

This November, I also facilitated a workshop on Herbalism, Incarceration and Abolition after an invitation from the Railyard Apothecary. The event raised over £500 for the Prisoner’s herbal books, which was so appreciated. The workshop explored the role of herbalism in supporting prisoners, families and communities affected by incarceration, and herbalist roles in the abolition of these systems of oppression. We explored the health impacts of incarceration, and look at herbal strategies to support people experiencing traumatic stress and PTSD. I introduced some practical uses of plants commonly found in prison yards and what practicing herbalism in prison can look like. It then went on to explore ‘abolition’ as a framework and the role of herbalists within these movements. I’m not able to share the original workshop but I created a back up version of the workshop beforehand in case I needed to vomit during the call! So this has been made available, here: https://solidarityapothecary.org/product/herbalism-incarceration-abolition-workshop/

In terms of other work in these movements, my beloved comrade Heather Anne translated an article I wrote on “Trauma Recovery and Abolition: State violence, PTSD and Healing Justice” into ‘Spanish’ that you can read here.

Prisoner support work through 2024 continued to be intense! We had many action alerts for different prisoners, celebrated the Week of Solidarity with Anarchist Prisoners, and continued to fundraise for the Kill The Bill prisoners sent down after the demonstration in Bristol in March 2021. We are currently selling these gorgeous Queers Hate Prisons t-shirts so make sure you don’t miss them!

Up until becoming bed bound with vomiting, I was still visiting loved ones inside very regularly and it’s been tough not being able to go like I have done for years 🙁 But everyone has been amazingly understanding. I hope to keep connecting links between herbalism, incarceration and abolition ongoingly as a heartbeat of the Solidarity Apothecary!

9. Palestine Solidarity

In my 2022 review, I shared about my visit to Palestine with the International Solidarity Movement in December. Since the trip, comrades and I have been publishing episodes for the ISM podcast. You can find it on all major podcast players as well as here: https://palsolidarity.org/tag/podcast/

There are 14 episodes focusing on the Palestinian struggle for freedom including interviews with people from the General Union of Palestinian Women, Dheisheh Refugee Camp, the Palestinian Medical Relief Society, mothers organising for justice in Sheik Jarrah and Adameer who organise prisoner solidarity. A number of episodes focus on struggles to save Masafer Yatta and the South Hebron Hills, including interviews with a youth group, and organisers living in villages in Mufagara and At-Tuwani. There’s also great interviews with people from ISM including an introduction to the movement, as well as with two internationalist volunteers.

As the whole world will know, all eyes have been on Palestine following the most recent iteration of genocide in Gaza and the unrelenting repression in the West Bank. I’ve been doing my best to organise from my sick bed including creating this post on Solidarity with Palestine: What You Can Do.

I managed to get some lavender oil made with olive oil from the West Bank out to a Palestinian friend who distributed it amongst her friends. This was a very small scale attempt at herbal solidarity, but I hope to organise more in the New Year as my nausea hopefully keeps improving.

Other amazing herbalists have been advocating for boycotts of herbal companies sourcing herbs from ‘Israel’. You can see some of their amazing work here. If anyone had the interest or capacity to help research herbal companies in the UK, please let me know!

10. Surviving hyperemesis!

I found out I was pregnant this August. It wasn’t long till I was vomiting at all hours of the day and night. Doctors passed it off as normal ‘morning sickness’ but my whole life became debilitated with the worst nausea of my life. It wasn’t after a trip to hospital with pains from severe dehydration that I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), which is the severe form of vomiting and nausea in pregnancy. I hadn’t even heard of HG. It was a minefield experimenting with medication, trying absolutely anything to consume any food at all without throwing it back up. I sucked ice cubes as drinking water triggered me to vomit. I had to basically lie in a dark bedroom or lounge and walking 10 metres in the garden would have me throwing up in the hedgerows.

Honestly, I can’t do it justice how difficult it was for how many months on end. Without the support of my partner and mum, I swear ending the pregnancy or even ending my life were considered. Thankfully, hitting 20 weeks was life changing and the severe vomiting at least has subsided. Recent research has confirmed that HG is a genetic condition (which makes sense considering my partner’s family history) but its still incredibly under-funded and under researched and of course the medical industrial complex de-prioritises it because of its gendered nature!!! From August – mid December, I suddenly could barely work, had to cut down all my major commitments (really hard for a workaholic) and lost the majority of my livelihood by cancelling my clients. It felt like a lot of grief coupled with a lot of PTSD and fears of being a parent. Thank god those days are behind me now! For anyone experiencing HG you have my serious love and solidarity as I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

2023 Goal accountability

On my 2022 review post, I shared some goals for 2023. Tons of research has shown sharing goals publicly increases the chance they will be achieved so I’m doing my best to be a bit more accountable!

Achieved

• To treat the Solidarity Apothecary more like a livelihood, get my finances in order and earn enough to pay myself properly
• To build the number of monthly supporters
• To launch my course on Herbalism, PTSD & Traumatic Stress
• To offer one-to-one support again via my online clinic
• To fundraise successfully for Ukraine Herbal Solidarity, the Mobile Herbal Clinic and the Prisoner Herbalism Collective and to support the collectives to get stronger and more resilient (and less dependent on me) – ISH! UHS is no longer operating in the same way, and the PHC is still fairly formally dormant (but may people are still actively translating etc). The Mobile Herbal Clinic is definitely way more resilient/less dependant on me but funding is a constant struggle!
• To continue with the Frontline Herbalism Podcast
• To do some tours – managed one in Italy!
• To get more active with the Medical Self Defence Network (MSDN)
• To continue to invest in my clinical education & learning
• To continue self-education about different areas of struggle

Not achieved

• To improve the systems for accessing herbal support so that more people do
• To finally finish and publish the Herbalism & State Violence Book
• Visit Mexico, thwarted by pregnancy!
• To organise more face-to-face medicine-making sessions and receive help more – sadly just haven’t had the logistical spoons for event organising on top of Calais and then the pregnancy

Renegotiated/decided to no longer pursue

• To launch the Herbalism for Organisers course
• To develop a herbal project for ex-prisoners
• To fundraise to develop a distance learning course in herbalism specifically for prisoners

Personal goals included:

• Having more rest – achieved
• Connecting with the elements more (learning SUPing/surfing/kayaking) – shamefully only did one surf session
• Hanging out with friends more – did my best but also thwarted by the hyperemesis
• Reconnecting with the hardcore/punk scene – managed one HC fest and that was it 🙁
• More consistent spiritual practice – achieved (ism)
• Learning Arabic – failed!
• Saving up for some kind of static caravan or mobile home – achieved!!!

Plans for 2024

So having the impending bubba is gonna shape most of 2024. I’m prepared to have my life turned upside down! I’m hoping to take at least 6 months of maternity leave from March – to September but will make arrangements for certain elements of the work to continue (budget-dependent). Self-employment plus maternity leave is a bit scary but I want to do my best to make it a sacred time of devoted care for the little one and recovery for me after the pregnancy. “Care” is one of the core values of the Solidarity Apothecary and this means for me too!

Pre-maternity leave

• To finalise my herbal solidarity care packages and set them up on my website for easier access while on maternity leave
• To continue with the Frontline Herbalism Podcast
• To finally finish and publish the Herbalism & State Violence Book
• To support folks to wrap up as many translated versions of my books as possible
• To re-decorate my herb shed and organise my storage ready to make it into an office too
• To support the Mobile Herbal Clinic to develop a membership donation program for greater financial resilience
• To organise some kind of recorded prisoner solidarity training
• To get some kind of fulfilment centre arrangement organised with my books and optimise book sales as a passive income during maternity leave and beyond

Post-maternity leave

• To relaunch my course on Herbalism, PTSD & Traumatic Stress in Autumn 2024
• To finish creating and launch the Do No Harm Course – an offering all about clinical safety for grassroots herbalists
• To offer one-to-one support again via my online clinic
• To organise more face-to-face medicine-making sessions and receive help more
• To finish my endobiogenic medicine diploma
• To enrol in Applying Functional Medicine in Clinical Practice training
• To enrol in some kind of foot care training
• To explore the possibilities of organising some kind of local herbal project eg. With houseless communities, and former prisoners until I’m ready to return to Calais

Ongoing

• To continue to invest in my clinical education & learning
• To continue self-education about different areas of struggle
• To continue to organise prisoner solidarity and stay involved in my various political collectives through pregnancy and maternity leave the best I can

Personal goals

• Once planning permission is confirmed, support Rob to decorate the Static Caravan and create the nicest rockabilly love nest ever!
• To give birth to a healthy, beautiful amazing human <3
• To have a healthy rest of my pregnancy, an empowering birth and a calm and enjoyable postpartum period
• To continue to build spiritual skills
• To save up for a trip to Australia and New Zealand to introduce our baby to our family living there, increase understanding of settler colonialism and connect with comrades in these regions
• To get surf practice when ready postpartum
• To invest in a stand up paddle board and connect to rivers and waterways locally
• To hang out with friends more, and make more local friends with babies!